I always feel your gaze
scraping into my thin veins,
even when you're absent
that feeling still remains.
I always feel your judgement,
in your condescending wake.
You have no right to tell me
all these changes I must make.
I sometimes feel your stutter,
see you tremble in despair
and only now I've realised
we live the same nightmare.

She let her eyelids drop and was dancing by the lake again; it was spring, insects were humming in the long grass and she was in love.

“Disease and decay are often beautiful, like the pearly tear of the shellfish or the hectic glow of consumption.”

A Lynchian Obsession

Without a doubt, David Lynch is my absolute favourite director. I was first introduced to him when I was about 15 and my dad showed me an ominous collection of his short films, I don't remember much about them other than feeling shocked and excited as I'd never really seen anything like them. I didn't really appreciate his brilliance at the time, it wasn't until a year later when I discovered Twin Peaks that I realised what an incredible man he is. I've since watch the entire series of Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, The Elephant Man and just yesterday I watched Blue Velvet. It's rare that I find a director and can say that I truly love everything I've seen by them. I guess I won't fully know that until I watch Dune (which is currently 3rd on my 'want to watch' list) which I've heard is his worst film. I'm desperate to watch everything he has ever made because I am so unbelievably in love with him.

This isn't the best interview as the woman interviewing Lynch doesn't appreciate his style at all, but it talks a lot about Blue Velvet and I found it interesting anyway.

Why I Want a Tattoo

It seems that every time I bring up my desire to get a tattoo it instigates the same response - 'Are you sure you've thought this through? I mean, won't you regret it when you're older?' What insanity! There is no way that when I am 64 with a broken hip and painful joints that I am going to look at my tattoo and think 'damn, I wish I didn't have something that reminds me of how great things used to be'.  I don't think an ugly tattoo is going to be high in my list of worries, especially as I won't be at the peak of my attractive era anyway.
For a long time I've cherished the idea of getting a tattoo. Impermanence upsets me; things change far too quickly so to think that I could have something that lasts forever is mesmerising. I want to get a tattoo when I feel like I'm at a truly happy point in my life so I have a constant reminder of that.

There's a deep, hollow feeling within my chest.
Do I have a heart at all?
Perhaps I used to but
I feel it has since been stolen from me
and locked away in a distant cave,
it shall never see daylight again.
I will exist in this empty shell
without leaving any trace behind me.
Do not try to help me, change me or love me.
I am beyond recovery now.
Leave me be
and I shall be content
to fade away.

By Dallas Clayton